Psychology of Desire

#91 The Intimacy Paradox: Vulnerability, Safety & Desire with Rachel Dorneanu

Emma | Psychology of Desire — Sat, 18 Apr 2026 03:29:37 GMT

You can listen to this episode on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.

The Erotic Realm podcast explores eroticism in all its forms, including the darker desires of BDSM and kinky sexuality. It’s mission is to humanise eroticism one erotic realm at a time.

In this episode I’m joined by Rachel Dorneanu — relationship and sex therapist — to explore the psychology of intimacy, vulnerability, and emotional connection.

We explore:

Vulnerability and emotional safety in relationships.
Conservative upbringing and sexual shame.
Communication and what makes a “safe partner”.
Arranged marriages and cultural dynamics.
Highly Sensitive People and intimacy.

Research Article: Sensory-Processing Sensitivity and Its Relation to Introversion and Emotionality.

The Erotic Realm is nominated for best podcast at the Australian Adult Industry Awards! Want to help it win? Vote here. Thanks for voting!

Introducing a new friend of the show Lovense! They have incredible award winning products, including for kinksters! Check them out here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

Founder of Psychology of Desire | Host of The Erotic Realm

The Psychology of Desire partners with aligned brands in the realms of psychology, sexuality, and symbolic transformation. Interested in sponsoring? Start here.

p.s Want to explore my writing?

The Psychology of Desire Case File Series:

My Erotic Journey: From Repressed to Expressed

Free Giveaway & What’s happening in the Psychology of Desire Realm: The Desire Dispatch #01– June Edition

The Shadow’s Playground: When Suppressed Desires Visit Us in Dreams

Consent Doesn’t Have a Gender

The Sole of Desire: Foot Fetish Origins | Psychology of Desire: Case File #1

What Your Erotic Dreams Reveal About Your Deepest Desires

The Secret Life of Your Desire

Why Your Desires Are More Normal Than You Think.

What If Everything You Know About Men and Women Is Wrong?

A Love Note To Men.

The Hidden Key to Lasting Desire: It’s Not What You Think

Are Men and Women Wired Differently For Desire?

And don’t forget my Jung of Sex Series:

#90 The Banned Sex Educator: Film, Shame & Sexual Freedom with Dr. Mark Schoen

Emma | Psychology of Desire — Thu, 16 Apr 2026 23:14:41 GMT

You can listen to this episode on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.

The Erotic Realm podcast explores eroticism in all its forms, including the darker desires of BDSM and kinky sexuality. It’s mission is to humanise eroticism one erotic realm at a time.

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Mark Schoen — sex educator, filmmaker, and founder of SexSmartFilms — to explore what decades of teaching human sexuality have revealed about shame, censorship, and sexual freedom.

We explore:

What decades of sex education have taught Mark about desire.
Banned books, censorship, and why sexual honesty still scares people.
How film can teach what classrooms often miss.
Cultural differences in sexual messaging.
Mark’s work with William Masters, Betty Dodson, and his transgender film project.

Research Article: X-Rated: Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors Associated With U.S. Adolescents’ Exposure to Sexually Explicit Media.

Introducing a new friend of the show Lovense! They have incredible award winning products, including for kinksters! Check them out here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

Founder of Psychology of Desire | Host of The Erotic Realm

Not ready to subscribe but you would like to support Emma’s mission and give a tip?

Give a tip

The Psychology of Desire partners with aligned brands in the realms of psychology, sexuality, and symbolic transformation. Interested in sponsoring? Start here.

p.s Want to explore my writing?

The Psychology of Desire Case File Series:

My Erotic Journey: From Repressed to Expressed

Free Giveaway & What’s happening in the Psychology of Desire Realm: The Desire Dispatch #01– June Edition

The Shadow’s Playground: When Suppressed Desires Visit Us in Dreams

Consent Doesn’t Have a Gender

The Sole of Desire: Foot Fetish Origins | Psychology of Desire: Case File #1

What Your Erotic Dreams Reveal About Your Deepest Desires

The Secret Life of Your Desire

Why Your Desires Are More Normal Than You Think.

What If Everything You Know About Men and Women Is Wrong?

A Love Note To Men.

The Hidden Key to Lasting Desire: It’s Not What You Think

Are Men and Women Wired Differently For Desire?

And don’t forget my Jung of Sex Series:

#89 The Asexual Dominant: Female Dominance, Power & Desire with GoddessMey

Emma | Psychology of Desire — Tue, 14 Apr 2026 23:00:27 GMT

You can listen to this episode on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.

The Erotic Realm podcast explores eroticism in all its forms, including the darker desires of BDSM and kinky sexuality. It’s mission is to humanise eroticism one erotic realm at a time.

In this episode I’m joined by GoddessMey — a dominant, sadomasochist, and asexual-spectrum kinkster — to explore the intersection of asexuality and BDSM.

We explore:

Asexuality and erotic identity.
Female dominance and power exchange.
Sadism, masochism, and sensation.
Ethical findom and consent.
Redefining desire beyond attraction.

Research Article: Asexuality: prevalence and associated factors in a national probability sample.

Love erotica? Don’t forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any erotic audio! use as many times as you like.

Introducing a new friend of the show Lovense! They have incredible award winning products, including for kinksters! Check them out here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

Founder of Psychology of Desire | Host of The Erotic Realm

Not ready to subscribe but you would like to support Emma’s mission and give a tip?

Give a tip

The Psychology of Desire partners with aligned brands in the realms of psychology, sexuality, and symbolic transformation. Interested in sponsoring? Start here.

p.s Want to explore my writing?

The Psychology of Desire Case File Series:

My Erotic Journey: From Repressed to Expressed

Free Giveaway & What’s happening in the Psychology of Desire Realm: The Desire Dispatch #01– June Edition

The Shadow’s Playground: When Suppressed Desires Visit Us in Dreams

Consent Doesn’t Have a Gender

The Sole of Desire: Foot Fetish Origins | Psychology of Desire: Case File #1

What Your Erotic Dreams Reveal About Your Deepest Desires

The Secret Life of Your Desire

Why Your Desires Are More Normal Than You Think.

What If Everything You Know About Men and Women Is Wrong?

A Love Note To Men.

The Hidden Key to Lasting Desire: It’s Not What You Think

Are Men and Women Wired Differently For Desire?

And don’t forget my Jung of Sex Series:

#88 The Dominant CEO: Ethical Power & Erotic Leadership with Leadfromfront

Emma | Psychology of Desire — Sat, 11 Apr 2026 14:31:06 GMT

You can listen to this episode on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.

The Erotic Realm podcast explores eroticism in all its forms, including the darker desires of BDSM and kinky sexuality. It’s mission is to humanise eroticism one erotic realm at a time.

In this episode I’m joined by Leadfromfront — a 75-year-old retired CEO and Dominant — to explore the psychology of power, leadership, and ethical authority.

We explore:

Leadership vs domination in BDSM.
Consent as the foundation of power.
The difference between hurt and harm.
Ethical sadism and attunement.
Aging, desire, and erotic longevity.

Research book: The Power Paradox: How We Gain and Lose Influence.

Love erotica? Don’t forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any erotic audio! use as many times as you like.

Introducing a new friend of the show Lovense! They have incredible award winning products, including for kinksters! Check them out here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

Founder of Psychology of Desire | Host of The Erotic Realm

Not ready to subscribe but you would like to support Emma’s mission and give a tip?

Give a tip

The Psychology of Desire partners with aligned brands in the realms of psychology, sexuality, and symbolic transformation. Interested in sponsoring? Start here.

p.s Want to explore my writing?

The Psychology of Desire Case File Series:

My Erotic Journey: From Repressed to Expressed

Free Giveaway & What’s happening in the Psychology of Desire Realm: The Desire Dispatch #01– June Edition

The Shadow’s Playground: When Suppressed Desires Visit Us in Dreams

Consent Doesn’t Have a Gender

The Sole of Desire: Foot Fetish Origins | Psychology of Desire: Case File #1

What Your Erotic Dreams Reveal About Your Deepest Desires

The Secret Life of Your Desire

Why Your Desires Are More Normal Than You Think.

What If Everything You Know About Men and Women Is Wrong?

A Love Note To Men.

The Hidden Key to Lasting Desire: It’s Not What You Think

Are Men and Women Wired Differently For Desire?

And don’t forget my Jung of Sex Series:

#87 No Children, No Shame: Sterilisation, Sex Work & Erotic Freedom with Katija Cortez

Emma | Psychology of Desire — Fri, 10 Apr 2026 14:31:35 GMT

You can listen to this episode on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.

The Erotic Realm podcast explores eroticism in all its forms, including the darker desires of BDSM and kinky sexuality. It’s mission is to humanise eroticism one erotic realm at a time.

In this episode I’m joined by Katija Cortez — a submissive, content creator, and professional girlfriend — to explore female autonomy, sterilisation, and the psychology of erotic agency.

We explore:

Sterilisation and voluntary childlessness.
Stigma, autonomy, and cultural expectations.
Sex work, desire, and emotional connection.
The paradox of being both sovereign and submissive.
How choice reshapes erotic identity.

Research article: Stigma Management Among the Voluntarily Childless.

Love erotica? Don’t forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any erotic audio! use as many times as you like.

Introducing a new friend of the show Lovense! They have incredible award winning products, including for kinksters! Check them out here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

Founder of Psychology of Desire | Host of The Erotic Realm

Not ready to subscribe but you would like to support Emma’s mission and give a tip?

Give a tip

The Psychology of Desire partners with aligned brands in the realms of psychology, sexuality, and symbolic transformation. Interested in sponsoring? Start here.

p.s Want to explore my writing?

The Psychology of Desire Case File Series:

My Erotic Journey: From Repressed to Expressed

Free Giveaway & What’s happening in the Psychology of Desire Realm: The Desire Dispatch #01– June Edition

The Shadow’s Playground: When Suppressed Desires Visit Us in Dreams

Consent Doesn’t Have a Gender

The Sole of Desire: Foot Fetish Origins | Psychology of Desire: Case File #1

What Your Erotic Dreams Reveal About Your Deepest Desires

The Secret Life of Your Desire

Why Your Desires Are More Normal Than You Think.

What If Everything You Know About Men and Women Is Wrong?

A Love Note To Men.

The Hidden Key to Lasting Desire: It’s Not What You Think

Are Men and Women Wired Differently For Desire?

And don’t forget my Jung of Sex Series:

#86 The Sexual Mastery Coach: Masculinity, Stamina & Erotic Presence with Kevin Anthony

Emma | Psychology of Desire — Thu, 09 Apr 2026 14:32:01 GMT

You can listen to this episode on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.

The Erotic Realm podcast explores eroticism in all its forms, including the darker desires of BDSM and kinky sexuality. It’s mission is to humanise eroticism one erotic realm at a time.

In this episode I’m joined by Kevin Anthony — sexologist, tantra counsellor, and men’s sexual mastery coach — to explore the psychology of masculinity, ejaculation, and erotic presence.

We explore:

Ejaculation, stamina, and sexual control.
Masculinity and performance anxiety.
Tantra as a lived erotic practice.
Polyamory and emotional intelligence.
Grief, loss, and erotic continuity.

Research article: Men’s gender role conflict: Psychological costs, consequences, and an agenda for change.

Love erotica? Don’t forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any erotic audio! use as many times as you like.

Introducing a new friend of the show Lovense! They have incredible award winning products, including for kinksters! Check them out here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

Founder of Psychology of Desire | Host of The Erotic Realm

Not ready to subscribe but you would like to support Emma’s mission and give a tip?

Give a tip

The Psychology of Desire partners with aligned brands in the realms of psychology, sexuality, and symbolic transformation. Interested in sponsoring? Start here.

p.s Want to explore my writing?

The Psychology of Desire Case File Series:

My Erotic Journey: From Repressed to Expressed

Free Giveaway & What’s happening in the Psychology of Desire Realm: The Desire Dispatch #01– June Edition

The Shadow’s Playground: When Suppressed Desires Visit Us in Dreams

Consent Doesn’t Have a Gender

The Sole of Desire: Foot Fetish Origins | Psychology of Desire: Case File #1

What Your Erotic Dreams Reveal About Your Deepest Desires

The Secret Life of Your Desire

Why Your Desires Are More Normal Than You Think.

What If Everything You Know About Men and Women Is Wrong?

A Love Note To Men.

The Hidden Key to Lasting Desire: It’s Not What You Think

Are Men and Women Wired Differently For Desire?

And don’t forget my Jung of Sex Series:

#85 The Neurodivergent Dominant: Pattern Recognition, Power & Erotic Connection with Kritikl

Emma | Psychology of Desire — Fri, 27 Mar 2026 23:34:11 GMT

You can listen to this episode on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.

The Erotic Realm podcast explores eroticism in all its forms, including the darker desires of BDSM and kinky sexuality. It’s mission is to humanise eroticism one erotic realm at a time.

In this episode I’m joined by Kritikl — a neurodivergent Dominant, sadist, rigger, and community space curator — to explore the intersection of autism, power, and desire.

You may recognise his voice from the earlier Kink Intentions episode — and here, we go deeper into how his neurodivergence shapes the way he experiences connection, dominance, and kink.

We explore:

Neurodivergence and erotic identity.
Pattern recognition as a form of connection.
Dominance, sadism, and ethical power.
Rope, sensory experience, and embodiment.
Creating safe spaces for neurodivergent kinksters.

Research Article: Autism, Sexuality, and BDSM.

Love erotica? Don’t forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any erotic audio! use as many times as you like.

Introducing a new friend of the show Lovense! They have incredible award winning products, including for kinksters! Check them out here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

Founder of Psychology of Desire | Host of The Erotic Realm

Not ready to subscribe but you would like to support Emma’s mission and give a tip?

Give a tip

The Psychology of Desire partners with aligned brands in the realms of psychology, sexuality, and symbolic transformation. Interested in sponsoring? Start here.

p.s Want to explore my writing?

The Psychology of Desire Case File Series:

My Erotic Journey: From Repressed to Expressed

Free Giveaway & What’s happening in the Psychology of Desire Realm: The Desire Dispatch #01– June Edition

The Shadow’s Playground: When Suppressed Desires Visit Us in Dreams

Consent Doesn’t Have a Gender

The Sole of Desire: Foot Fetish Origins | Psychology of Desire: Case File #1

What Your Erotic Dreams Reveal About Your Deepest Desires

The Secret Life of Your Desire

Why Your Desires Are More Normal Than You Think.

What If Everything You Know About Men and Women Is Wrong?

A Love Note To Men.

The Hidden Key to Lasting Desire: It’s Not What You Think

Are Men and Women Wired Differently For Desire?

And don’t forget my Jung of Sex Series:

#84 The Submissive Man’s Dilemma: Masculinity, Shame & Female-Led Relationships with Jack

Emma | Psychology of Desire — Tue, 24 Mar 2026 21:13:00 GMT

You can listen to this episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or in a web browser.

The Erotic Realm podcast explores eroticism in all its forms, including the darker desires of BDSM and kinky sexuality. It’s mission is to humanise eroticism one erotic realm at a time.

In this episode I’m joined by Jack — a submissive man, anthropologist, and writer — to explore the psychological tension between masculinity, shame, and submission.

We unpack how cultural expectations shape men’s relationship to control, performance, and sexuality — and what happens when those expectations no longer fit. Drawing on lived experience and sociological insight, this conversation explores how submission can become a site of authenticity rather than weakness.

We explore:

The conflict between masculinity and submission.
Shame, ejaculation, and the male erotic nervous system.
Female-led relationships and long-term D/s dynamics.
The difference between consent and compatibility.
How men can redefine power through surrender.

Research Article: Hegemonic Masculinity: Rethinking the Concept.

Love erotica? Don’t forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any erotic audio! use as many times as you like.

Introducing a new friend of the show Lovense! They have incredible award winning products, including for kinksters! Check them out here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

Founder of Psychology of Desire | Host of The Erotic Realm

Not ready to subscribe but you would like to support Emma’s mission and give a tip?

Give a tip

The Psychology of Desire partners with aligned brands in the realms of psychology, sexuality, and symbolic transformation. Interested in sponsoring? Start here.

p.s Want to explore my writing?

The Psychology of Desire Case File Series:

My Erotic Journey: From Repressed to Expressed

Free Giveaway & What’s happening in the Psychology of Desire Realm: The Desire Dispatch #01– June Edition

The Shadow’s Playground: When Suppressed Desires Visit Us in Dreams

Consent Doesn’t Have a Gender

The Sole of Desire: Foot Fetish Origins | Psychology of Desire: Case File #1

What Your Erotic Dreams Reveal About Your Deepest Desires

The Secret Life of Your Desire

Why Your Desires Are More Normal Than You Think.

What If Everything You Know About Men and Women Is Wrong?

A Love Note To Men.

The Hidden Key to Lasting Desire: It’s Not What You Think

Are Men and Women Wired Differently For Desire?

And don’t forget my Jung of Sex Series:

#83 The Kink Collective: People Before Kink with Master Cat & Master Joshua

Emma | Psychology of Desire — Fri, 20 Mar 2026 21:47:30 GMT

You can listen to this episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or in a web browser.

The Erotic Realm podcast explores eroticism in all its forms, including the darker desires of BDSM and kinky sexuality. It’s mission is to humanise eroticism one erotic realm at a time.

In this episode I’m joined by Master Cat NYC and Master Joshua NYC — leather educators and co-founders of The Kink Collective — to explore the psychology of ethical power in BDSM.

With decades of experience in kink and leather communities, they share how their understanding of dominance, identity, and responsibility has evolved — and why they centre their work around the principle of people before kink.

We explore:

Ethical dominance and responsibility in power exchange.
Leather culture and evolving erotic identity.
Consent as a form of liberation.
Triads, poly dynamics, and relational complexity.
Building kink communities rooted in care and accountability.

Love erotica? Don’t forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any erotic audio! use as many times as you like.

Introducing a new friend of the show Lovense! They have incredible award winning products, including for kinksters! Check them out here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

Founder of Psychology of Desire | Host of The Erotic Realm

Not ready to subscribe but you would like to support Emma’s mission and give a tip?

Give a tip

The Psychology of Desire partners with aligned brands in the realms of psychology, sexuality, and symbolic transformation. Interested in sponsoring? Start here.

p.s Want to explore my writing?

The Psychology of Desire Case File Series:

My Erotic Journey: From Repressed to Expressed

Free Giveaway & What’s happening in the Psychology of Desire Realm: The Desire Dispatch #01– June Edition

The Shadow’s Playground: When Suppressed Desires Visit Us in Dreams

Consent Doesn’t Have a Gender

The Sole of Desire: Foot Fetish Origins | Psychology of Desire: Case File #1

What Your Erotic Dreams Reveal About Your Deepest Desires

The Secret Life of Your Desire

Why Your Desires Are More Normal Than You Think.

What If Everything You Know About Men and Women Is Wrong?

A Love Note To Men.

The Hidden Key to Lasting Desire: It’s Not What You Think

Are Men and Women Wired Differently For Desire?

And don’t forget my Jung of Sex Series:

#82 Beyond Sex Addiction: Shame, Desire & Erotic Integration with Silva Neves

Emma | Psychology of Desire — Tue, 17 Mar 2026 21:34:44 GMT

You can listen to this episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or in a web browser.

The Erotic Realm podcast explores eroticism in all its forms, including the darker desires of BDSM and kinky sexuality. It’s mission is to humanise eroticism one erotic realm at a time.

In this episode I’m joined by psychosexual and relationship therapist Silva Neves to explore one of the most misunderstood topics in modern sexuality: compulsive sexual behaviour.

Rather than framing sexual compulsivity as “sex addiction,” Silva’s work examines how sexuality can become intertwined with emotional regulation, identity, shame, and relational needs.

We explore:

Why many sexologists reject the “sex addiction” narrative.
How shame sustains compulsive sexual cycles.
The difference between high desire and genuine compulsivity.
Trauma, EMDR therapy, and erotic safety.
What sexual integration actually looks like in therapy.

Love erotica? Don’t forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any erotic audio! use as many times as you like.

Introducing a new friend of the show Lovense! They have incredible award winning products, including for kinksters! Check them out here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

Founder of Psychology of Desire | Host of The Erotic Realm

Not ready to subscribe but you would like to support Emma’s mission and give a tip?

Give a tip

The Psychology of Desire partners with aligned brands in the realms of psychology, sexuality, and symbolic transformation. Interested in sponsoring? Start here.

p.s Want to explore my writing?

The Psychology of Desire Case File Series:

My Erotic Journey: From Repressed to Expressed

Free Giveaway & What’s happening in the Psychology of Desire Realm: The Desire Dispatch #01– June Edition

The Shadow’s Playground: When Suppressed Desires Visit Us in Dreams

Consent Doesn’t Have a Gender

The Sole of Desire: Foot Fetish Origins | Psychology of Desire: Case File #1

What Your Erotic Dreams Reveal About Your Deepest Desires

The Secret Life of Your Desire

Why Your Desires Are More Normal Than You Think.

What If Everything You Know About Men and Women Is Wrong?

A Love Note To Men.

The Hidden Key to Lasting Desire: It’s Not What You Think

Are Men and Women Wired Differently For Desire?

And don’t forget my Jung of Sex Series:

In this episode I’m joined by psychosexual and relationship therapist Silva Neves to explore one of the most misunderstood topics in modern sexuality: compulsive sexual behaviour.

Rather than framing sexual compulsivity as “sex addiction,” Silva’s work examines how sexuality can become intertwined with emotional regulation, identity, shame, and relational needs.

We explore:

Why many sexologists reject the “sex addiction” narrative.
How shame sustains compulsive sexual cycles.
The difference between high desire and genuine compulsivity.
Trauma, EMDR therapy, and erotic safety.
What sexual integration actually looks like in therapy.

#81 The Altersex Master: Gender, Primal Power & Erotic Becoming with Dreamer

Emma | Psychology of Desire — Sat, 14 Mar 2026 00:57:40 GMT

You can listen to this episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or in a web browser.

The Erotic Realm podcast explores eroticism in all its forms, including the darker desires of BDSM and kinky sexuality. It’s mission is to humanise eroticism one erotic realm at a time.

In this episode I’m joined by Dreamer — an altersex transgender woman, primal sadomasochist, leather Master, scientist, and educator — to explore the psychology of gender integration, power exchange, and erotic identity.

Dreamer shares the deeply personal story of her gender transition, including her decision to undergo phallus-preserving vaginoplasty, a non-traditional form of gender-affirming surgery that reflects her unique experience of embodiment.

We explore:

What it means to identify as altersex.
The psychological experience of gender transition.
The difference between primal power and constructed authority.
Leather culture, Mastery, and erotic truth.
How embodiment shapes desire and power exchange.

Research Article: Adult Development and Quality of Life of Transgender and Gender Nonconforming People.

Love erotica? Don’t forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any erotic audio! use as many times as you like.

Introducing a new friend of the show Lovense! They have incredible award winning products, including for kinksters! Check them out here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

Founder of Psychology of Desire | Host of The Erotic Realm

Not ready to subscribe but you would like to support Emma’s mission and give a tip?

Give a tip

The Psychology of Desire partners with aligned brands in the realms of psychology, sexuality, and symbolic transformation. Interested in sponsoring? Start here.

p.s Want to explore my writing?

The Psychology of Desire Case File Series:

My Erotic Journey: From Repressed to Expressed

Free Giveaway & What’s happening in the Psychology of Desire Realm: The Desire Dispatch #01– June Edition

The Shadow’s Playground: When Suppressed Desires Visit Us in Dreams

Consent Doesn’t Have a Gender

The Sole of Desire: Foot Fetish Origins | Psychology of Desire: Case File #1

What Your Erotic Dreams Reveal About Your Deepest Desires

The Secret Life of Your Desire

Why Your Desires Are More Normal Than You Think.

What If Everything You Know About Men and Women Is Wrong?

A Love Note To Men.

The Hidden Key to Lasting Desire: It’s Not What You Think

Are Men and Women Wired Differently For Desire?

And don’t forget my Jung of Sex Series:

#80 Sexual Sovereignty: The Psychology of Passion with Susan Bratton

Emma | Psychology of Desire — Tue, 10 Mar 2026 21:55:47 GMT

You can listen to this episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or in a web browser.

The Erotic Realm podcast explores eroticism in all its forms, including the darker desires of BDSM and kinky sexuality. It’s mission is to humanise eroticism one erotic realm at a time.

In this episode I’m joined by legendary intimacy expert Susan Bratton — author, educator, and one of the most influential voices in modern sexual communication.

We explore:

How patriarchal sexual scripts shape modern intimacy.
The real difference between having sex and making love.
How couples sustain passion after decades together.
Why attention may be one of the most overlooked erotic resources.
How sexual sovereignty transforms relationships.

Research Article: The Female Sexual Response: A Different Model.

Love erotica? Don’t forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any erotic audio! use as many times as you like.

Introducing a new friend of the show Lovense! They have incredible award winning products, including for kinksters! Check them out here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

Founder of Psychology of Desire | Host of The Erotic Realm

Not ready to subscribe but you would like to support Emma’s mission and give a tip?

Give a tip

The Psychology of Desire partners with aligned brands in the realms of psychology, sexuality, and symbolic transformation. Interested in sponsoring? Start here.

p.s Want to explore my writing?

The Psychology of Desire Case File Series:

My Erotic Journey: From Repressed to Expressed

Free Giveaway & What’s happening in the Psychology of Desire Realm: The Desire Dispatch #01– June Edition

The Shadow’s Playground: When Suppressed Desires Visit Us in Dreams

Consent Doesn’t Have a Gender

The Sole of Desire: Foot Fetish Origins | Psychology of Desire: Case File #1

What Your Erotic Dreams Reveal About Your Deepest Desires

The Secret Life of Your Desire

Why Your Desires Are More Normal Than You Think.

What If Everything You Know About Men and Women Is Wrong?

A Love Note To Men.

The Hidden Key to Lasting Desire: It’s Not What You Think

Are Men and Women Wired Differently For Desire?

And don’t forget my Jung of Sex Series:

#79 The Submissive CEO: Surrender, Grief and Erotic Curiosity with Calliope

Emma | Psychology of Desire — Fri, 06 Mar 2026 20:42:32 GMT

You can listen to this episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or in a web browser.

The Erotic Realm podcast explores eroticism in all its forms, including the darker desires of BDSM and kinky sexuality. It’s mission is to humanise eroticism one erotic realm at a time.

In this episode I’m joined by Calliope — entrepreneur, writer, and high-functioning submissive — to explore the psychology of control, grief surrender, and curiosity inside modern BDSM.

We explore:

Submission for high-performing professionals.
The psychology of control and surrender.
Curiosity as a gateway into kink.
Intellectual stimulation inside D/s dynamics.
Grief, writing, and the role of community in healing.

Research Article: Masochism as Escape from Self.

Love erotica? Don’t forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any erotic audio! use as many times as you like.

Introducing a new friend of the show Lovense! They have incredible award winning products, including for kinksters! Check them out here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

Founder of Psychology of Desire | Host of The Erotic Realm

Not ready to subscribe but you would like to support Emma’s mission and give a tip?

Give a tip

The Psychology of Desire partners with aligned brands in the realms of psychology, sexuality, and symbolic transformation. Interested in sponsoring? Start here.

p.s Want to explore my writing?

The Psychology of Desire Case File Series:

My Erotic Journey: From Repressed to Expressed

Free Giveaway & What’s happening in the Psychology of Desire Realm: The Desire Dispatch #01– June Edition

The Shadow’s Playground: When Suppressed Desires Visit Us in Dreams

Consent Doesn’t Have a Gender

The Sole of Desire: Foot Fetish Origins | Psychology of Desire: Case File #1

What Your Erotic Dreams Reveal About Your Deepest Desires

The Secret Life of Your Desire

Why Your Desires Are More Normal Than You Think.

What If Everything You Know About Men and Women Is Wrong?

A Love Note To Men.

The Hidden Key to Lasting Desire: It’s Not What You Think

Are Men and Women Wired Differently For Desire?

And don’t forget my Jung of Sex Series:

#78 Dominatrix Rin: Emotional Power, Ritual & Psychosexual Sorcery

Emma | Psychology of Desire — Tue, 03 Mar 2026 21:18:02 GMT

You can listen to this episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or in a web browser.

The Erotic Realm podcast explores eroticism in all its forms, including the darker desires of BDSM and kinky sexuality. It’s mission is to humanise eroticism one erotic realm at a time.

In this episode I’m joined by Dominatrix Rin, professional Dominatrix and dungeon owner, to explore archetypal authority, ritual aesthetics, and the psychology of emotional power in BDSM.

We explore:

The Dominatrix as archetype and psychosexual authority.
Berlin vs San Francisco kink culture.
The dungeon as ritual container and transformational space.
Emotional labor in professional domination.
Ownership, care, and embodied attunement.
Power as presence rather than performance.

Research book: The History and Arts of the Dominatrix.

Love erotica? Don’t forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any erotic audio! use as many times as you like.

Introducing a new friend of the show Lovense! They have incredible award winning products, including for kinksters! Check them out here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

Founder of Psychology of Desire | Host of The Erotic Realm

Not ready to subscribe but you would like to support Emma’s mission and give a tip?

Give a tip

The Psychology of Desire partners with aligned brands in the realms of psychology, sexuality, and symbolic transformation. Interested in sponsoring? Start here.

p.s Want to explore my writing?

The Psychology of Desire Case File Series:

My Erotic Journey: From Repressed to Expressed

Free Giveaway & What’s happening in the Psychology of Desire Realm: The Desire Dispatch #01– June Edition

The Shadow’s Playground: When Suppressed Desires Visit Us in Dreams

Consent Doesn’t Have a Gender

The Sole of Desire: Foot Fetish Origins | Psychology of Desire: Case File #1

What Your Erotic Dreams Reveal About Your Deepest Desires

The Secret Life of Your Desire

Why Your Desires Are More Normal Than You Think.

What If Everything You Know About Men and Women Is Wrong?

A Love Note To Men.

The Hidden Key to Lasting Desire: It’s Not What You Think

Are Men and Women Wired Differently For Desire?

And don’t forget my Jung of Sex Series:

#77 The Philosophy of Sadism: Pain, Hypnosis, and the Mind’s Power in BDSM (re-release)

Emma | Psychology of Desire — Sun, 01 Mar 2026 06:43:12 GMT

You can listen to this episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or in a web browser.

The Erotic Realm podcast explores eroticism in all its forms, including the darker desires of BDSM and kinky sexuality. It’s mission is to humanise eroticism one erotic realm at a time.

In this episode I sit down with Lenny, a 77 year old sadist, writer, and lifelong BDSM mentor whose journey explores the limits of pleasure, pain, and the mind’s role in eroticism.

Lenny shares his experiences with hypnotic states, non-physical orgasms, and BDSM as a vehicle for transformation—both in real life and in literature.

We discuss:

The psychology of masochism and what pain really means in BDSM.
Writing about dark desires and the philosophy of De Sade.
Non-physical orgasms and how hypnosis can trigger deep pleasure.
The intersection of tantra, breathwork, and erotic power exchange.
Unusual fetishes he’s encountered including a garlic fetish!

Research Paper: A Case of Female Orgasm Without Genital Stimulation

Love erotica? Don’t forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any erotic audio! use as many times as you like.

Introducing a new friend of the show Lovense! They have incredible award winning products, including for kinksters! Check them out here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

Founder of Psychology of Desire | Host of The Erotic Realm

Not ready to subscribe but you would like to support Emma’s mission and give a tip?

Give a tip

The Psychology of Desire partners with aligned brands in the realms of psychology, sexuality, and symbolic transformation. Interested in sponsoring? Start here.

p.s Want to explore my writing?

The Psychology of Desire Case File Series:

My Erotic Journey: From Repressed to Expressed

Free Giveaway & What’s happening in the Psychology of Desire Realm: The Desire Dispatch #01– June Edition

The Shadow’s Playground: When Suppressed Desires Visit Us in Dreams

Consent Doesn’t Have a Gender

The Sole of Desire: Foot Fetish Origins | Psychology of Desire: Case File #1

What Your Erotic Dreams Reveal About Your Deepest Desires

The Secret Life of Your Desire

Why Your Desires Are More Normal Than You Think.

What If Everything You Know About Men and Women Is Wrong?

A Love Note To Men.

The Hidden Key to Lasting Desire: It’s Not What You Think

Are Men and Women Wired Differently For Desire?

And don’t forget my Jung of Sex Series:

#76 The Conscious Submissive: Sub Frenzy & Integrative Kink with Subinthecity

Emma | Psychology of Desire — Tue, 24 Feb 2026 20:33:42 GMT

You can listen to this episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or in a web browser.

The Erotic Realm podcast explores eroticism in all its forms, including the darker desires of BDSM and kinky sexuality. It’s mission is to humanise eroticism one erotic realm at a time.

In this episode I’m joined by Sarah from Subinthecity — submissive, kink therapist, and educator — to explore feminist submission, sub frenzy, and integrative kink through a psychological lens.

We explore:

What sub frenzy really is — and how to navigate it safely.
Feminist submission as sovereignty, not passivity.
Erotic mismatch in D/s dynamics.
Menstrual cycles and shifting kink desires.
Shadow work and inner-child integration through power exchange.

Research article: Reflections on a Career Dedicated to the Study of BDSM and Diverse Sexualities

Love erotica? Don’t forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any erotic audio! use as many times as you like.

Introducing a new friend of the show Lovense! They have incredible award winning products, including for kinksters! Check them out here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

Founder of Psychology of Desire | Host of The Erotic Realm

Not ready to subscribe but you would like to support Emma’s mission and give a tip?

Give a tip

The Psychology of Desire partners with aligned brands in the realms of psychology, sexuality, and symbolic transformation. Interested in sponsoring? Start here.

p.s Want to explore my writing?

The Psychology of Desire Case File Series:

My Erotic Journey: From Repressed to Expressed

Free Giveaway & What’s happening in the Psychology of Desire Realm: The Desire Dispatch #01– June Edition

The Shadow’s Playground: When Suppressed Desires Visit Us in Dreams

Consent Doesn’t Have a Gender

The Sole of Desire: Foot Fetish Origins | Psychology of Desire: Case File #1

What Your Erotic Dreams Reveal About Your Deepest Desires

The Secret Life of Your Desire

Why Your Desires Are More Normal Than You Think.

What If Everything You Know About Men and Women Is Wrong?

A Love Note To Men.

The Hidden Key to Lasting Desire: It’s Not What You Think

Are Men and Women Wired Differently For Desire?

And don’t forget my Jung of Sex Series:

#75 Erotic Obsession & the Cost of Desire: Inside The Venus Fly Trap with Stephen Paul Edwards

Emma | Psychology of Desire — Fri, 20 Feb 2026 21:02:12 GMT

You can listen to this episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or in a web browser.

The Erotic Realm podcast explores eroticism in all its forms, including the darker desires of BDSM and kinky sexuality. It’s mission is to humanise eroticism one erotic realm at a time.

Grab your FREE copy of The Venus Fly Trap here.

In this episode of I’m joined by author Stephen Paul Edwards to explore the psychological depths of his book The Venus Fly Trap — a story described as equal parts Fifty Shades, Gone Girl, and a therapy session with the devil.

In this episode, we explore:

The psychology of erotic obsession.
Fantasy vs manipulation in relationships.
What destabilising attraction reveals about ourselves.
Shame, secrecy, and the cost of silence.
Why writing the truth can change the body — not just the mind.
A live reading from the book.

Research article: Confronting a traumatic event: Toward an understanding of inhibition and disease.

Connect with Stephen:

Love erotica? Don’t forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any erotic audio! use as many times as you like.

Introducing a new friend of the show Lovense! They have incredible award winning products, including for kinksters! Check them out here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

Founder of Psychology of Desire | Host of The Erotic Realm

Not ready to subscribe but you would like to support Emma’s mission and give a tip?

Give a tip

The Psychology of Desire partners with aligned brands in the realms of psychology, sexuality, and symbolic transformation. Interested in sponsoring? Start here.

p.s Want to explore my writing?

The Psychology of Desire Case File Series:

My Erotic Journey: From Repressed to Expressed

Free Giveaway & What’s happening in the Psychology of Desire Realm: The Desire Dispatch #01– June Edition

The Shadow’s Playground: When Suppressed Desires Visit Us in Dreams

Consent Doesn’t Have a Gender

The Sole of Desire: Foot Fetish Origins | Psychology of Desire: Case File #1

What Your Erotic Dreams Reveal About Your Deepest Desires

The Secret Life of Your Desire

Why Your Desires Are More Normal Than You Think.

What If Everything You Know About Men and Women Is Wrong?

A Love Note To Men.

The Hidden Key to Lasting Desire: It’s Not What You Think

Are Men and Women Wired Differently For Desire?

And don’t forget my Jung of Sex Series:

#74 Sovereign Submission: Devotion, Discipline & the Erotic Masculine with Taylor Ellwood

Emma | Psychology of Desire — Tue, 17 Feb 2026 20:52:11 GMT

You can listen to this episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or in a web browser.

The Erotic Realm podcast explores eroticism in all its forms, including the darker desires of BDSM and kinky sexuality. It’s mission is to humanise eroticism one erotic realm at a time.

In this episode we explore the erotic realm of Taylor Ellwood, a submissive, men’s coach, and writer living in a 24/7 female-led dynamic, to explore masculinity, devotion, and sovereign submission through a psychological lens.

In this episode, we explore:

Why submission must be chosen, not defaulted into.
The difference between “nice guy” behaviour and genuine devotion.
Submission as discipline, not self-erasure.
Masculinity beyond performance and dominance.
How erotic polarity and meaning shape long-term D/s relationships.

Research article: Perks, problems, and the people who play: A qualitative exploration of dominant and submissive BDSM roles

Love erotica? Don’t forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any erotic audio! use as many times as you like.

Introducing a new friend of the show Lovense! They have incredible award winning products and are currently running a Valentine’s Day Sale with huge savings! Check them out here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

Founder of Psychology of Desire | Host of The Erotic Realm

Not ready to subscribe but you would like to support Emma’s mission and give a tip?

Give a tip

The Psychology of Desire partners with aligned brands in the realms of psychology, sexuality, and symbolic transformation. Interested in sponsoring? Start here.

p.s Want to explore my writing?

The Psychology of Desire Case File Series:

My Erotic Journey: From Repressed to Expressed

Free Giveaway & What’s happening in the Psychology of Desire Realm: The Desire Dispatch #01– June Edition

The Shadow’s Playground: When Suppressed Desires Visit Us in Dreams

Consent Doesn’t Have a Gender

The Sole of Desire: Foot Fetish Origins | Psychology of Desire: Case File #1

What Your Erotic Dreams Reveal About Your Deepest Desires

The Secret Life of Your Desire

Why Your Desires Are More Normal Than You Think.

What If Everything You Know About Men and Women Is Wrong?

A Love Note To Men.

The Hidden Key to Lasting Desire: It’s Not What You Think

Are Men and Women Wired Differently For Desire?

And don’t forget my Jung of Sex Series:

#73 Sex, Drugs & Flow States: Tanya Griffin on Pleasure, Power & Presence

Emma | Psychology of Desire — Fri, 13 Feb 2026 21:30:19 GMT

You can listen to this episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or in a web browser.

The Erotic Realm podcast explores eroticism in all its forms, including the darker desires of BDSM and kinky sexuality. It’s mission is to humanise eroticism one erotic realm at a time.

In this episode of I’m joined by Tanya Griffin — entrepreneur, sexual wellness and harm-reduction educator, and flow-state practitioner — to explore the psychology of pleasure, altered states, and embodied leadership.

In this episode, we explore:

Pleasure as a measure of freedom, not indulgence.
Flow states in sex, embodiment, and longevity.
Intention vs. compulsion in erotic and altered states.
Conscious use of cannabis and psychoactives in sexuality.
Shame reduction as harm reduction — in sex and substances.

Research article: Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience.

Don’t forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any audio! use as many times as you like.

Introducing a new friend of the show Lovense! They have incredible award winning products and are currently running a Valentine’s Day Sale with huge savings! Check them out here.

Enjoying the podcast? The Erotic Realm is an independent podcast and relies on support from listeners to continue. Become a paid subscriber today to help more erotic realms happen.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

Founder of Psychology of Desire | Host of The Erotic Realm

Not ready to subscribe but you would like to support Emma’s mission and give a tip?

Give a tip

The Psychology of Desire partners with aligned brands in the realms of psychology, sexuality, and symbolic transformation. Interested in sponsoring? Start here.

p.s Want to explore my writing?

The Psychology of Desire Case File Series:

My Erotic Journey: From Repressed to Expressed

Free Giveaway & What’s happening in the Psychology of Desire Realm: The Desire Dispatch #01– June Edition

The Shadow’s Playground: When Suppressed Desires Visit Us in Dreams

Consent Doesn’t Have a Gender

The Sole of Desire: Foot Fetish Origins | Psychology of Desire: Case File #1

What Your Erotic Dreams Reveal About Your Deepest Desires

The Secret Life of Your Desire

Why Your Desires Are More Normal Than You Think.

What If Everything You Know About Men and Women Is Wrong?

A Love Note To Men.

The Hidden Key to Lasting Desire: It’s Not What You Think

Are Men and Women Wired Differently For Desire?

And don’t forget my Jung of Sex Series:

#72 The Brat Who Chooses Submission: Erotic Paradox with AngelSnowflake

Emma | Psychology of Desire — Tue, 10 Feb 2026 21:35:10 GMT

You can listen to this episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or in a web browser.

The Erotic Realm podcast explores eroticism in all its forms, including the darker desires of BDSM and kinky sexuality. It’s mission is to humanise eroticism one erotic realm at a time.

In this episode of The Erotic Realm, I’m joined by AngelSnowflake, a collared submissive and self-described brat, to explore the psychology of chosen submission, erotic paradox, and identity that refuses simplification.

In this episode, we explore:

Why submission must be earned to be real.
Brattiness as emotional and relational literacy.
Fluid desire and refusing fixed erotic labels.
Collars as lived psychological commitments.
Parallels between kink, roleplay, and character formation.

Don’t forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any audio! use as many times as you like.

Introducing a new friend of the show Lovense! They have incredible award winning products and are currently running a Valentine’s Day Sale with huge savings! Check them out here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

Founder of Psychology of Desire | Host of The Erotic Realm

Not ready to subscribe but you would like to support Emma’s mission and give a tip?

Give a tip

The Psychology of Desire partners with aligned brands in the realms of psychology, sexuality, and symbolic transformation. Interested in sponsoring? Start here.

p.s Want to explore my writing?

The Psychology of Desire Case File Series:

My Erotic Journey: From Repressed to Expressed

Free Giveaway & What’s happening in the Psychology of Desire Realm: The Desire Dispatch #01– June Edition

The Shadow’s Playground: When Suppressed Desires Visit Us in Dreams

Consent Doesn’t Have a Gender

The Sole of Desire: Foot Fetish Origins | Psychology of Desire: Case File #1

What Your Erotic Dreams Reveal About Your Deepest Desires

The Secret Life of Your Desire

Why Your Desires Are More Normal Than You Think.

What If Everything You Know About Men and Women Is Wrong?

A Love Note To Men.

The Hidden Key to Lasting Desire: It’s Not What You Think

Are Men and Women Wired Differently For Desire?

And don’t forget my Jung of Sex Series: