My Erotic Journey: From Repressed to Expressed
Why I Created the Psychology of Desire
It’s been a while since I introduced myself here and many of you are new, so hi and Welcome to the Psychology of Desire!
I’d love to tell you my story and how I ended up here…
Cloaked in Grey: My Repressed Desires and Beginnings
Let’s rewind to 2007.
I had just graduated with Honours in Psychophysiology and a Double Degree in Psychology and Sociology.
I was proud.
I was a trailblazer- being the first in my family to achieve higher education… but something was missing.
You see, I didn’t always live inside my erotic truth.
I grew up in a state of Australia where homosexuality was illegal until I was 12 (1997!).
Safe to say, sexual exploration was not celebrated.
I felt unsure of myself.
I had been bullied throughout school as others often sensed I was different.
I was literally living in the grey- I remember not wanting to wear colours because I’d stand out!
I was in a space of wanting to blend in and be undetected.
But I had a feeling there was more out there for me…
Desire Discovery: The Start of My Erotic Journey
I moved to Melbourne-the cultural hub of Australia and for the first time, I experienced spaces where sexuality was celebrated, not silenced.
I hadn’t explored my sexuality much before that.
But I had an inkling it wasn’t going to be vanilla or straight laced.
At the time, I was also losing my connection to the academic world.
I loved research but office life and narrow academic pathways weren’t for me.
Even after being offered a PhD scholarship in Physiology, I knew:
This isn’t my path.
Instead, I became fascinated with those who wandered off the map and made novel discoveries, maverick researchers such as Oliver Sacks, Carl Jung, Alfred Kinsey and Jane Goodall- who all took an adventurous approach to researching sexuality, psychology and behaviour.
I decided to make the extremely difficult decision to leave the traditional pathway for the unknown.
Into the Shadows: Exploring Hidden Desires
Inspired by my Sociology degree and the ethnographic research I was reading— where scientists immerse themselves in cultures to gain deep understanding— I decided to explore the shadow side of sexuality through my own immersive experience.
I dove into Jungian psychology through a Diploma in Transpersonal Psychotherapy and emerged with a lifelong love for Sexology.
I spent over 6 years interviewing people in strip clubs, kink communities, and hidden corners of desire all around the world.
I studied Eastern Sexology and Tantra for over 5 years in Thailand and India.
I trained under a Dominatrix who specialises in the history of the art form.
It was the most profound period of my life to date.
I learned more about humanity and the Psychology of Desire than I could ever write down.
However I must try.
Here are three truths I uncovered that changed my life and my approach to desire.
To desire and be desired is a pivotal human experience.
Most people aren’t sure how to explore their desires.
Understanding your desire is often the key to understanding your eroticism and leadership abilities.
Rebirth of Desire: Embracing My Transformed Erotic Self
My training and learnings led to a new found sense of empowerment in my Sexuality.
Eventually, I returned to Melbourne and faced the stillness of lockdowns in 2020.
I spent time integrating all of my learnings.
My research paused — but my clarity didn’t.
I slowly integrated everything I’d learned.
I was now living proudly as a queer, kinky, bisexual woman.
I found that more than ever, people were drawn to me to help them explore their sexuality.
So I began coaching others to explore their own desires.
That’s when I coined the term Viseros, and began building the space I wish I’d had growing up:
A place where people could decode, reclaim, and honour their erotic truth.
Mapping Desire: Why I built Psychology of Desire
My approach to eroticism and the Psychology of Desire has been built on over 20 years of education and experience.
The path hasn’t always been easy.
But it's my path.
And it’s a path that I want to help others walk down.
There is a common saying:
you become who you needed when you were younger.
I needed a space where exploration and understanding of desire was celebrated.
Not just from a feeling level, but from an intellectual approach.
And that’s what I am creating here.
About 2 years ago I sat on the floor of my home with a huge blank piece of paper and asked myself a few questions:
How do I synthesise all of my learnings?
What is my unique approach to eroticism?
How can I help others explore their desire with what I know and have experienced?
Who is Psychology of Desire for?
I created Psychology of Desire for you.
You’re a busy person.
I get it—you don’t have time to travel to foreign countries to study sexuality
You aren’t keen to explore the underbelly of sexuality in strip clubs or kink parties.
You want easy to understand explorations that allow you to unleash your unique desire template on your terms and in your own time.
If you are:
Wanting to explore your desires
Not sure where to start
Would love to decode your desires
Be able to share your desires clearly with your partner
or wondering where your desire has gone
You’re in the right place.
I currently have 3 offerings for you to invest in your desire.
1. Activate Your Desire— my brand new course
Ready to activate, understand and communicate your desire? This is a great starting point for you.
Inside the 6 modules, you’ll discover:
The Desire Crisis – Why desire feels mysterious and what’s really happening.
The Desire Activation Model™ – Your personal template for awakening desire.
7 Myths of Desire – The hidden beliefs that keep you turned off.
Case Studies of Desire – Real-world examples that bring the model to life.
Desire Barriers – The mental, emotional, and environmental blocks you can dissolve.
Desire in Relationships – How to navigate differences and activate your partner’s desire.
Invest in your desire today and receive life-time access to the self paced Activate Your Desire mini-course for only $77 here.
2. Decode My Desire— my upcoming signature course.
This course isn’t just a container of tools and theory: it’s a map.
It’s also not a mini-course. It’s already 200 slides long!
It brings all of my learnings over thousands of hours of research, study, and embodied experience together in an easy to follow course.
This course is extensive and will be released early 2026 however I’m offering presale investment now for only $97 (over 50% off!). Grab it here.
3. Deep Dive Desire Coaching
A personalised 1:1 coaching experience designed to:
Unpack your unique erotic code.
Explore how your psyche, body, and story shape your sexuality.
Clarify inner conflicts around shame, pleasure, or identity.
Support your journey of individuation through the lens of eroticism.
I currently have only two spaces open for coaching packages, check the details out and apply here.
I know many of you are wondering how to explore your erotic self— I was in your shoes once upon a time.
I’ve felt repressed and unsure of where to begin.
The mission of Psychology of Desire is to create a space for your exploration— whether that be of the darkest desires, or the most romantic fantasy (and everything in between).
Your desires are welcome and celebrated here.
Emma
Founder of Psychology of Desire | Host of The Erotic Realm Podcast
p.s Want to explore my writing?
The Shadow’s Playground: When Suppressed Desires Visit Us in Dreams
The Sole of Desire: Foot Fetish Origins | Psychology of Desire: Case File #1
What Your Erotic Dreams Reveal About Your Deepest Desires
The Secret Life of Your Desire
Why Your Desires Are More Normal Than You Think.
What If Everything You Know About Men and Women Is Wrong?
The Hidden Key to Lasting Desire: It’s Not What You Think
Are Men and Women Wired Differently For Desire?
And don’t forget my Jung of Sex Series:
p.p.s Want to check out my projects?
Wow, love your journey as not only did you immerse yourself,
but you allowed yourself to experience and grow.
Such a beautiful journey and now helping so many others!
The immersive research approach is the only one that actually produces real understanding and you clearly knew that early. Thirty years of living the lifestyle in India rather than studying it from outside has taught us more about desire, shame, and human connection than any framework could. The lived version always goes deeper. Come find us at Almost Monogamous.