The Jung of Sex | The Archetypes of Erotic Desire
The Inner Figures Shaping Who You Crave, Chase, and Collapse For.
What if I told you that your desire isn't just about chemistry, or trauma, or preference?
What if it's mythic?
We often think we're choosing our lovers consciously.
But what if the psyche chooses them first?
What if the people we crave are not just individuals, but symbols…archetypal figures wearing human faces?
In Jungian psychology, archetypes are universal patterns—shared images, instincts, and characters that live in the collective unconscious.
And they show up everywhere: in your dreams, in stories, and yes, your eroticism too.
That’s right.
Desire has a structure.
And if we look closely enough, we'll see the same patterns repeating, again and again.
Not just in who we're drawn to, but in how we love, how we collapse, and what we can't stop chasing.
Desire Isn't Random. It's Archetypal.
You know that person you keep falling for? The one who makes you feel high, lost, obsessed, or like you’ve known them forever?
They might be activating something deeper than just personal compatibility.
They might be an archetype: The Seductress. The Saviour. The Destroyer. The Muse. The Monster. The Divine Child. The Wild One.
According to Jung, these figures live inside all of us.
And when someone in the outer world matches the energy of an inner figure, we feel it.
That spark.
That pull.
That I know this feeling.
It’s not just romantic.
It’s psychological.
Symbolic.
Mythic.
Your Psyche Has a Type. And It's Not Just a 'Type'
We often say we have "a type."
But what we really have is a pattern.
An inner story that wants to be seen, felt, and sometimes resolved.
And if we're not conscious of it, it will keep playing out over and over again.
Some of us are drawn to power. Others to chaos.
Some chase nurturing. Others chase pain.
These aren't just quirks.
They're clues.
To who we are.
To what we long for.
To what we've lost or never integrated.
Desire, in this framework, almost becomes diagnostic.
Not of what's wrong with you—but of what's waiting to be understood.
When Archetypes Possess Our Love Lives
Jung spoke often of how we are "possessed" by archetypes.
When we’re overtaken by obsession or fantasy.
When a new lover feels larger than life or a breakup feels like death….it’s often not about the person.
It’s about the archetype they carried for us.
The problem? Archetypes are powerful.
They pull us into projection, idealisation, inflation.
We don’t just want the person, we want the story, we want the myth we’ve cast them in.
And we don’t just lose the relationship…we lose the part of ourselves we projected onto them.
This is why it hurts so much. And why it matters so deeply.
How Do You Meet Your Desire Archetype?
I believe we each have a unique erotic architecture: a constellation of inner figures, charged memories, and bodily truths that shape the way we desire.
I've spent years mapping these patterns: across kink, love, fantasy, and spiritual yearning and developing a system that combines Jungian theory, the science of desire and psychophysiology.
Soon, I’ll be releasing a revolutionary Desire course that encapsulates all of my findings.
This course will help you to decode your cravings, find meaning in your attractions, and work with your desires rather than against them.
Because the more we understand our erotic patterns, the less likely we are to repeat the ones that hurt.
And the more likely we are to find something real, whole, and deeply aligned.
In short, the course will allow you to own your desire.
Want in? Register your interest and help shape the course as it’s being created here.
Some questions for you to ponder:
Do you have a recurring archetypal pattern in your love life?
Can you think of a lover or obsession that felt mythic in intensity?
What do you think your desire might be trying to teach you?
Let's explore this together.
And if you missed it, here is the first three writings of the Jung of Sex series:
Want to go deeper? Emma also offers 1:1 Deep Dive Desire Coaching by application.
p.s I have some special news! For the next 15 days only, I’m inviting a small circle of people to become Founding Members of Psychology of Desire.
This is more than early access.
It’s an invitation to co-create something that’s never been done before.
Behind the scenes, I’ve been quietly building a secret project (which I am SO excited to share with you all!)
Hint- it’s a project that maps the inner architecture of eroticism through dreams, fantasies, and desire.
Founding Members will be the first to experience it, before it goes public.
You’ll also get early access to The Erotic Realm podcast, and the upcoming revolutionary Desire course and a private AMA space to explore your most intimate questions.
It’s the kind of space I’ve always wanted to find: a space full of erotic psychology nerds who are deeply curious about what lives beneath the surface of our erotic lives.
Founding Members will receive:
Early access to The Erotic Realm – already in the Top 10% of all podcasts after only 3 months!
Exclusive deep-dive content – exploring kink, longing, transformation, and taboo.
Entry into the secret project – before it’s unveiled to the public.
First access to the upcoming Desire Course - a complete reframe of what we know about Desire!
A private AMA session – where you can ask your most personal questions anonymously.
Recognition as a key supporter – helping shape this movement from the beginning.
This invitation will be available for the next 15 days only and once it’s gone, the Founding Member tier (and price) will never be available again.
Thanks for reading and commenting!
Emma
Want to explore my other writing?
Why Your Desires Are More Normal Than You Think.
What If Everything You Know About Men and Women Is Wrong?
Interesting concept for sure. Never thought of the mechanics of desire thunconsciously!
But if this is universal I wonder how you would apply it to certain cultures (like the Indian one I belong to) where marriages are arranged for the most part. Of course some degree of compatibility is sought for but the alliance is predominantly decided along economic- societal criteria eventually.
I don't see much scope here for a couple to understand their archetypes since their choice in this regard is limited by cultural demands.
At another level (as in my own life) the choice of a partner/lover seems to be dictated by biology- morphology.
You seldom see a fat man with a slim wife, a tall woman with a short husband or a timid -reserved person with an outrageously loud partner.
I sense there is a seeking of psychological balance through these biological- morphological choices.
Can archetypes feature in these choices too albeit unconsciously?
Thank you for continuing this series, to which I can definitely relate. On numerous occasions over the span of many decades I have probably fallen for someone who "might [have been] an archetype: The Seductress. The Saviour. The Destroyer. The Muse. The Monster. The Divine Child. The Wild One."
Moreover, at different times, that "someone" has switched from one archetypal image to another. At present, for example, I seek a Muse. I am quite certain that if/when "someone in the outer world matches the energy of an inner figure," I shall indeed feel it. Indeed, I have felt it in the past -- at least four times!