Oh. My. Goodness, Emma!! Can I just take a moment to appreciate the work and effort you’ve put into this? Love the in-depth information through all the lenses (and I don’t even care about feet 😂). Well done.
Thanks Doris! That's the idea behind the Psychology of Desire: Case Files - I'm hoping to make all sorts of deep dives into Desire's interesting to the person that isn't even into that desire! Happy to hear that you enjoyed it. It's my first time exploring in this way and I loved it. Looking forward to seeing where the series takes me. If you have an idea for a desire you'd like me to explore in a case file let me know!
I’ll need to take some notes and gather my thoughts before I leave a thorough comment. I also need to listen to the previous podcast but, I’ve read this post and I am fascinated!
Thanks Beau, appreciate the support! Let me know what you think of the podcast when it's done. It's amazing how deep sexuality can go into parts of ourselves we didn't realise at first, huh!
This was fascinating! I do a lot of Mommy Domme roleplay and there’s a lot of overlap with foot fetishism, both of which are incredibly misunderstood. Thanks for casting some light on the topic!
Thank you Simon! I've been waiting for a foot fetishist to turn up in the comments. I appreciate your input. Do you have a feeling which of the factors explored contributes more to your fetish if you're happy to share? Also I'm wondering if you had a chance to listen to the podcast episode mebtioned- i would love your thoughts on that also 😊
Hello Emma, thank you for the attention given to my response. Indeed, I have been a foot fetishist since my childhood. I think my first emotions date back to the age of 10. It was visual at first, I watched for the toes or soles of girls and women around me. I was looking in the comic strips for barefoot heroines, preferably tied up, this increased my trouble. At the same time I felt deeply abnormal and perverse, in the 70s in France, we didn’t talk about those things. Later, in high school, I read the magazine 'Union' where couples told their experiences, and I devoured texts on foot fetishism. Later, when I married at 21, I was a fan of my wife’s feet but... she disliked it, thinking her feet were only some stinky stuff used to walk. As she accepted to have sex only once by month, I started regularly masturbating my nose in her sneakers or tights. My attraction has become olfactory, so. My sado-masochistic tendencies have increased over time, I felt submissive and eager to obey a woman. After my divorce, I belonged to a dominant woman who educated me to lick her pussy and satisfy her as if she were asking for it, but she almost never gave me access to her feet, her thing was anal, which I didn’t like, and so I suffered. Finally, 8 years ago I remarried an incredible woman. Of Moroccan and Muslim origin, She immediately loved the attention I paid to her feet (and the rest too!). She appreciated the fact that I was trained to bring all the possible pleasures to a woman (I am well-behaved) and only if She expresses the need for them. For 4 years, she has been demanding a long foot massage (and sometimes body massage) every evening and even more on weekends. Given that I have sometimes become reluctant, she occasionally makes me wear a cage of chastity which whips up my desire and extends the duration and frequency of massages! The tactile aspect therefore complemented my two other attractions, visual and olfactory attraction. When caged, having access to Her feet might replace not having sex, incredibbly... Very recently I was even able to lick Her feet for a long time, what a shame and what a mixed pleasure!!!
Loved this piece, especially how you layered psychological roots with personal insight. Just wondering, is there a particular fetish you find more widely present in women but not as much in men? Would love to read your thoughts on that.
Thank you and great question! Hmm i'll have to have a think...as far as I know men are much more likely to have fetishes than women in general. I know some differences in terms of kinks but when it comes to fetish I'm not sure there is one where women have a higher prevalence...I'll have to check and get back to you
Thank you for your reply, I really appreciate it I have been wondering about something kind of related to attraction do women actually tend to feel more drawn to dominant or macho men, even if their habits are not ideal? I have read some studies saying this might be true in short-term attraction, but I am not sure how accurate or common it really is. I would love to hear your thoughts if you have looked into it.
Also, I recently remembered the historic practice of foot binding in China, where women’s feet were tightly bound with cloth to keep them small. A beauty standard tied to cultural and possibly fetishistic ideals. It’s interesting how cultural history shapes attraction and fetishism today.
An excellent piece -- and I hope it's a harbinger of more to come (no play on words intended)!
Here's a question on "fetish" vs. "kink," and I shall very much welcome your input, given that:
<< A kink refers to any sexual activity, practice or preference that deviates from what’s considered “normal” or “vanilla” [while a] fetish, on the other hand, specifically involves a sexual attraction to or fixation on a particular object, body part, or activity, which is typically not considered sexual in nature. >> This segues to the following excerpt involving an intersex character:
<< ...Robertu had another rather strange kink. He/she liked to be tied up, naked and spread-eagle on the massage table, while Angela read Dante aloud. “A good delivery—and mine has improved markedly over the past few weeks—results in considerable arousal for both of us!” she reported proudly. “Robertu honestly thinks I shall eventually make her/him come from Dante, truly rendering that classic The Divine Comedy!” >>
Question: I used "kink" quite intentionally, since I agree with your definition above. However, I have also heard of "literary fetish," and this would certainly provide an example thereof. How would YOU classify such a scene: kink or fetish?
Thanks for the support Lenny, appreciated as always!
Hmm in terms of literary kink or fetish it would depend on the intensity of the desire for it, how often it is sought out, if it is a large and overall consuming aspect of their sexuality, and if they seek for it as much, if not more than other sexual practices.
I don't think the line between kink vs fetish is a solid definition, and I would need to interview Robertu more to understand fully.
Well done Emma. I wrote about this subject recently. This is my take on Fetish vs Kink, and I agree, it can be a grey area to some.
"Let’s quickly define the difference between fetishes and kinks. Kink is an umbrella term that encompasses fetishes, which are objects or body parts (often non-sexual), or acts, that play an integral part in someone’s sexual arousal.
I view kink as primarily activities that include a relationship dynamic with one or more people, and fetish as more of an object-based arousal that may, but doesn’t necessarily involve another person.
Feet are the fetish and foot worship is the kink.
The smell of hemp rope is the fetish, and rope bondage is the kink.
Women’s clothing and accessories are the fetish, dressing up is the kink."
Interesting definition of fetish- this made me think!
I understand what you're saying in terms of the focus on the object being the differential factor, but I don't think that holds up for feet as I see feet as a relational dynamic- they aren't an object but part of a person, and a foot fetishist often speaks about relational aspects such as the movement or mood they can perceive of the person through their foot.
For me, I think it's more so the almost magical aspect of the fetish that gives it the distinction between a fetish and a kink. It's almost numinous to define, but you can no doubt perceive it in a person's face and eyes when they within the vicinity of their fetish. A kink they are drawn towards, a fetish they can not look away from.
The uniquely intersex Robertu is based on someone I encountered while I was sketch a different book (a project since aborted). "He/she" (which was what Robertu used back in the 1980s, but "they" today) generously shared some material that worked its way into a different set of novels some years later. However, we seem to have lost touch. If I ever hear from "them," I'll mention you!
As for "kink vs. fetish": While I applaud both Corinne's thoughts and your response, I fear we may never develop definitions that suit all situations (to say nothing about pleasing everyone!).
They sound fascinating Lenny, Yes please let me know if you hear from them again!
And I agree, sexuality is so complex that in most situations (as with many definitions of human behaviour) we have to do our best and understand that it often falls short of a definitive definition.
I lost touch with the "real-life" Giorgiu (originally Giorgia, briefly Giorgio, finally Giorgiu, and ultimately recast in two works of fiction as Robertu) before Covid. However, if we ever reconnect, I'll send "them" your way.
And you are right; it IS fun to try. If nothing else, we can engage in stimulating argument/discussion like this and perhaps increase our understanding. Thank you once again for initiating these exchanges with your post of 4 June.
Fabulous piece of research! I had a membership website back in the late 90's creating adult content for fetishists of various hues. There were panty/lingerie fetishists wanting to be ordered to dress in mine and be my 'girl'. Or to be punished specifically with a bristle hairbrush for some transgression or other. Or wanting to be be diapered and nurse me. There were those who wanted nothing more than to receive my golden nectar (which very much played into my own arousal and pleasure). I did a series of videos, one of which was the most popular, dealing with foot fetishes - trampling with bare feet, in high heels with toe cleavage (popular), squishing around in jello, dirty feet, etc. Personally I adore having my feet massaged, toes sucked, soles licked. I have come close to orgasm with just that (close but not quite). Anyway, I'm delighted to have stumbled upon your page! I'll be having a closer look at your work for sure! Great job and thank you for your curiosity! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🌟
Thank you Jody! Sounds like you had a lot of fun on the early internet!
I really appreciate the support. It sounds like you would enjoy listening to the podcast episode linked at the start of the article- the foot fetishist goes into detail about what has occurred for his wife thanks to his love of feet (it's spicy!).
Wonderful! So glad I stumbled on your page.. you have an excellent handle on the nature of desire and all it's permutations. Looking forward toreading listening to your works!
You did such a great job breaking down fetish in such clinical terms. I learned quite a bit, here. It’s not as simple as being a random warp in one’s psychology, or a reaction to extreme emotional development. I hadn’t considered the cultural nature in foot fetishism. The studies of conditioning changed my perspective on how else they may come to be, and to how they can change over time.
The connection, of the origins of fetish, to magic and art doesn’t surprise me. It’s funny how it doesn’t necessarily identify as a form of sexuality but, ever since the term “erotic fetishism” was used, it appears to have inherited a sexual connotation.
I didn’t expect to find so much neuroscience at the root of a foot fetish, either. The story about the phantom limb is interesting. Please let us know if anyone can shine a light on your theory about male brains. It makes a strong case, and it also might confirm why men traditionally think about sex more often, in general. I expected numbers to be skewed towards male preference but, I was surprised at only 4% of women declaring a foot fetish it makes me curious about them.
I’m glad I found your Substack and have already bookmarked your next piece.
Oh. My. Goodness, Emma!! Can I just take a moment to appreciate the work and effort you’ve put into this? Love the in-depth information through all the lenses (and I don’t even care about feet 😂). Well done.
Thanks Doris! That's the idea behind the Psychology of Desire: Case Files - I'm hoping to make all sorts of deep dives into Desire's interesting to the person that isn't even into that desire! Happy to hear that you enjoyed it. It's my first time exploring in this way and I loved it. Looking forward to seeing where the series takes me. If you have an idea for a desire you'd like me to explore in a case file let me know!
I’ll need to take some notes and gather my thoughts before I leave a thorough comment. I also need to listen to the previous podcast but, I’ve read this post and I am fascinated!
Congrats and well done, Emma!
Thanks Beau, appreciate the support! Let me know what you think of the podcast when it's done. It's amazing how deep sexuality can go into parts of ourselves we didn't realise at first, huh!
This was fascinating! I do a lot of Mommy Domme roleplay and there’s a lot of overlap with foot fetishism, both of which are incredibly misunderstood. Thanks for casting some light on the topic!
Thanks Zoey! Happy to hear you found it fascinating. From your experience do you think there was anything I missed ?
Very good work, congratulations Miss Emma. And as a submissive husband (and foot lover) to my Wife, i completely suscribe to Your conclusions !
Thank you Simon! I've been waiting for a foot fetishist to turn up in the comments. I appreciate your input. Do you have a feeling which of the factors explored contributes more to your fetish if you're happy to share? Also I'm wondering if you had a chance to listen to the podcast episode mebtioned- i would love your thoughts on that also 😊
Hello Emma, thank you for the attention given to my response. Indeed, I have been a foot fetishist since my childhood. I think my first emotions date back to the age of 10. It was visual at first, I watched for the toes or soles of girls and women around me. I was looking in the comic strips for barefoot heroines, preferably tied up, this increased my trouble. At the same time I felt deeply abnormal and perverse, in the 70s in France, we didn’t talk about those things. Later, in high school, I read the magazine 'Union' where couples told their experiences, and I devoured texts on foot fetishism. Later, when I married at 21, I was a fan of my wife’s feet but... she disliked it, thinking her feet were only some stinky stuff used to walk. As she accepted to have sex only once by month, I started regularly masturbating my nose in her sneakers or tights. My attraction has become olfactory, so. My sado-masochistic tendencies have increased over time, I felt submissive and eager to obey a woman. After my divorce, I belonged to a dominant woman who educated me to lick her pussy and satisfy her as if she were asking for it, but she almost never gave me access to her feet, her thing was anal, which I didn’t like, and so I suffered. Finally, 8 years ago I remarried an incredible woman. Of Moroccan and Muslim origin, She immediately loved the attention I paid to her feet (and the rest too!). She appreciated the fact that I was trained to bring all the possible pleasures to a woman (I am well-behaved) and only if She expresses the need for them. For 4 years, she has been demanding a long foot massage (and sometimes body massage) every evening and even more on weekends. Given that I have sometimes become reluctant, she occasionally makes me wear a cage of chastity which whips up my desire and extends the duration and frequency of massages! The tactile aspect therefore complemented my two other attractions, visual and olfactory attraction. When caged, having access to Her feet might replace not having sex, incredibbly... Very recently I was even able to lick Her feet for a long time, what a shame and what a mixed pleasure!!!
Loved this piece, especially how you layered psychological roots with personal insight. Just wondering, is there a particular fetish you find more widely present in women but not as much in men? Would love to read your thoughts on that.
Thank you and great question! Hmm i'll have to have a think...as far as I know men are much more likely to have fetishes than women in general. I know some differences in terms of kinks but when it comes to fetish I'm not sure there is one where women have a higher prevalence...I'll have to check and get back to you
Thank you for your reply, I really appreciate it I have been wondering about something kind of related to attraction do women actually tend to feel more drawn to dominant or macho men, even if their habits are not ideal? I have read some studies saying this might be true in short-term attraction, but I am not sure how accurate or common it really is. I would love to hear your thoughts if you have looked into it.
Also, I recently remembered the historic practice of foot binding in China, where women’s feet were tightly bound with cloth to keep them small. A beauty standard tied to cultural and possibly fetishistic ideals. It’s interesting how cultural history shapes attraction and fetishism today.
An excellent piece -- and I hope it's a harbinger of more to come (no play on words intended)!
Here's a question on "fetish" vs. "kink," and I shall very much welcome your input, given that:
<< A kink refers to any sexual activity, practice or preference that deviates from what’s considered “normal” or “vanilla” [while a] fetish, on the other hand, specifically involves a sexual attraction to or fixation on a particular object, body part, or activity, which is typically not considered sexual in nature. >> This segues to the following excerpt involving an intersex character:
<< ...Robertu had another rather strange kink. He/she liked to be tied up, naked and spread-eagle on the massage table, while Angela read Dante aloud. “A good delivery—and mine has improved markedly over the past few weeks—results in considerable arousal for both of us!” she reported proudly. “Robertu honestly thinks I shall eventually make her/him come from Dante, truly rendering that classic The Divine Comedy!” >>
Question: I used "kink" quite intentionally, since I agree with your definition above. However, I have also heard of "literary fetish," and this would certainly provide an example thereof. How would YOU classify such a scene: kink or fetish?
Thanks for the support Lenny, appreciated as always!
Hmm in terms of literary kink or fetish it would depend on the intensity of the desire for it, how often it is sought out, if it is a large and overall consuming aspect of their sexuality, and if they seek for it as much, if not more than other sexual practices.
I don't think the line between kink vs fetish is a solid definition, and I would need to interview Robertu more to understand fully.
What do you think?
Well done Emma. I wrote about this subject recently. This is my take on Fetish vs Kink, and I agree, it can be a grey area to some.
"Let’s quickly define the difference between fetishes and kinks. Kink is an umbrella term that encompasses fetishes, which are objects or body parts (often non-sexual), or acts, that play an integral part in someone’s sexual arousal.
I view kink as primarily activities that include a relationship dynamic with one or more people, and fetish as more of an object-based arousal that may, but doesn’t necessarily involve another person.
Feet are the fetish and foot worship is the kink.
The smell of hemp rope is the fetish, and rope bondage is the kink.
Women’s clothing and accessories are the fetish, dressing up is the kink."
Thanks Corinne!
Interesting definition of fetish- this made me think!
I understand what you're saying in terms of the focus on the object being the differential factor, but I don't think that holds up for feet as I see feet as a relational dynamic- they aren't an object but part of a person, and a foot fetishist often speaks about relational aspects such as the movement or mood they can perceive of the person through their foot.
For me, I think it's more so the almost magical aspect of the fetish that gives it the distinction between a fetish and a kink. It's almost numinous to define, but you can no doubt perceive it in a person's face and eyes when they within the vicinity of their fetish. A kink they are drawn towards, a fetish they can not look away from.
Something to ponder more I think!
A brief closing thought on the subject. Perhaps a foot by any other name, would smell as sweet? :)
The uniquely intersex Robertu is based on someone I encountered while I was sketch a different book (a project since aborted). "He/she" (which was what Robertu used back in the 1980s, but "they" today) generously shared some material that worked its way into a different set of novels some years later. However, we seem to have lost touch. If I ever hear from "them," I'll mention you!
As for "kink vs. fetish": While I applaud both Corinne's thoughts and your response, I fear we may never develop definitions that suit all situations (to say nothing about pleasing everyone!).
They sound fascinating Lenny, Yes please let me know if you hear from them again!
And I agree, sexuality is so complex that in most situations (as with many definitions of human behaviour) we have to do our best and understand that it often falls short of a definitive definition.
It is fun to try though ;)
I lost touch with the "real-life" Giorgiu (originally Giorgia, briefly Giorgio, finally Giorgiu, and ultimately recast in two works of fiction as Robertu) before Covid. However, if we ever reconnect, I'll send "them" your way.
And you are right; it IS fun to try. If nothing else, we can engage in stimulating argument/discussion like this and perhaps increase our understanding. Thank you once again for initiating these exchanges with your post of 4 June.
Fabulous piece of research! I had a membership website back in the late 90's creating adult content for fetishists of various hues. There were panty/lingerie fetishists wanting to be ordered to dress in mine and be my 'girl'. Or to be punished specifically with a bristle hairbrush for some transgression or other. Or wanting to be be diapered and nurse me. There were those who wanted nothing more than to receive my golden nectar (which very much played into my own arousal and pleasure). I did a series of videos, one of which was the most popular, dealing with foot fetishes - trampling with bare feet, in high heels with toe cleavage (popular), squishing around in jello, dirty feet, etc. Personally I adore having my feet massaged, toes sucked, soles licked. I have come close to orgasm with just that (close but not quite). Anyway, I'm delighted to have stumbled upon your page! I'll be having a closer look at your work for sure! Great job and thank you for your curiosity! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🌟
Thank you Jody! Sounds like you had a lot of fun on the early internet!
I really appreciate the support. It sounds like you would enjoy listening to the podcast episode linked at the start of the article- the foot fetishist goes into detail about what has occurred for his wife thanks to his love of feet (it's spicy!).
Wonderful! So glad I stumbled on your page.. you have an excellent handle on the nature of desire and all it's permutations. Looking forward toreading listening to your works!
Thank you Jody!
Fantastic work M. 😍
Thank you! appreciate the support 😍
You did such a great job breaking down fetish in such clinical terms. I learned quite a bit, here. It’s not as simple as being a random warp in one’s psychology, or a reaction to extreme emotional development. I hadn’t considered the cultural nature in foot fetishism. The studies of conditioning changed my perspective on how else they may come to be, and to how they can change over time.
The connection, of the origins of fetish, to magic and art doesn’t surprise me. It’s funny how it doesn’t necessarily identify as a form of sexuality but, ever since the term “erotic fetishism” was used, it appears to have inherited a sexual connotation.
I didn’t expect to find so much neuroscience at the root of a foot fetish, either. The story about the phantom limb is interesting. Please let us know if anyone can shine a light on your theory about male brains. It makes a strong case, and it also might confirm why men traditionally think about sex more often, in general. I expected numbers to be skewed towards male preference but, I was surprised at only 4% of women declaring a foot fetish it makes me curious about them.
I’m glad I found your Substack and have already bookmarked your next piece.
All the best, Emma