I can agree with everything you are saying in this article.
At some point, there does become a "not normal" attachment to certain desires? When it starts crossing that somewhat magical line of some ethical and moral limitation?
Yes for sure. Anything non consensual or crossing into addictive territory is not healthy. But as the article explains the term normal or not normal isn't helpful with it's meaning.
Unfortunately I can’t afford the course…. I survive on SS so there just isn’t anything left by the 15 th but I will keep in touch with your posts thank you you for all you do!
Well, it's obviously a long story, yes? I'm 72, my interest in this topic has been keen since I was about 10. Is this a private conversation or is viewable by others?
So my name here is a pseudonym : Tunder Kiraly ( Fairy King in Hungarian). I'm a retired psychotherapist ( MSW ). I initially trained and worked in the " Sex Offender and Sex Addict " fields. I later transitioned to working with Children and Familes ( single mothers and/or thier kids mostly).
Oldest of four boys, my parents were conventional until i was 8. They began hosting " key parties " at our home. My dad was a Marine. They would have large parties , the couples that came put thier car keys into a large bowl upon entering. They would all drink, dance and get pretty wild. At the end of the evening the ladies would each " pick a key " from the bowl. That's who they went home with. I intently listened to it all through the heater duct. When i was 10 i discovered my mom's collection of " pulp fiction" books, which were mostly Lesbian in nature. While my Marine father was away ( often ) she began to take up residence with his best friends wife . About this time i discovered that my maternal GF was homosexual and living with a man . At age 12 my parents divorced and my mother took up full time residence with her lady friend. Over the next few years i was exposed to and fascinated by a variety of feminist and lesbian literature . At age 18 i went to see a movie with my best friend and his sister . It happened to be " Behind the Green Door". We went and parked afterwards and smoked a joint. It was the first time I became aware of wanting to be with two people simultaneously ( read threesome). Needless to say, nothing happened ( we were all too shy/naïve. Somewhere afterwards is when i began to realise i had a deep attraction to lesbian women. Back then we didn't have alot of the words and terms we have now.
Anyway... that should be a good start to our conversation . It's quite nauianced and has evolved over the years.Id love to continue the conversation.
I look forward to hearing snd learning more about your project. I was made for this. thanks
Normal is an ever changing point on the bell curve of life. So, normal doesn’t really exist. And, nature loves diversity, even when it comes to sexual desires. Thanks for posting what you post.
I sooo enjoyed this read! Esp the part , “Normal was originally used by carpenters. It is a construction term, not a psychological one.” Such simple evidence but so poignant. Thanks again
This offers a clear and reassuring way to think about desire without turning it into something that needs fixing or defending. The distinction between statistical averages and lived experience feels especially helpful, particularly for people carrying unnecessary shame. Bringing together language, history, and psychology makes the topic feel accessible rather than abstract. It invites curiosity and understanding without pushing anyone to label themselves or arrive at a conclusion too quickly.
Thank you!
Lovely topic to explore, nice article :)
Not to desire, not to want, not to cling
I can agree with everything you are saying in this article.
At some point, there does become a "not normal" attachment to certain desires? When it starts crossing that somewhat magical line of some ethical and moral limitation?
Yes for sure. Anything non consensual or crossing into addictive territory is not healthy. But as the article explains the term normal or not normal isn't helpful with it's meaning.
Makes sense.
Unfortunately I can’t afford the course…. I survive on SS so there just isn’t anything left by the 15 th but I will keep in touch with your posts thank you you for all you do!
i've been waiting on this for 40 years . Bravo!
You have?! Tell me more ☺️
Well, it's obviously a long story, yes? I'm 72, my interest in this topic has been keen since I was about 10. Is this a private conversation or is viewable by others?
So my name here is a pseudonym : Tunder Kiraly ( Fairy King in Hungarian). I'm a retired psychotherapist ( MSW ). I initially trained and worked in the " Sex Offender and Sex Addict " fields. I later transitioned to working with Children and Familes ( single mothers and/or thier kids mostly).
Oldest of four boys, my parents were conventional until i was 8. They began hosting " key parties " at our home. My dad was a Marine. They would have large parties , the couples that came put thier car keys into a large bowl upon entering. They would all drink, dance and get pretty wild. At the end of the evening the ladies would each " pick a key " from the bowl. That's who they went home with. I intently listened to it all through the heater duct. When i was 10 i discovered my mom's collection of " pulp fiction" books, which were mostly Lesbian in nature. While my Marine father was away ( often ) she began to take up residence with his best friends wife . About this time i discovered that my maternal GF was homosexual and living with a man . At age 12 my parents divorced and my mother took up full time residence with her lady friend. Over the next few years i was exposed to and fascinated by a variety of feminist and lesbian literature . At age 18 i went to see a movie with my best friend and his sister . It happened to be " Behind the Green Door". We went and parked afterwards and smoked a joint. It was the first time I became aware of wanting to be with two people simultaneously ( read threesome). Needless to say, nothing happened ( we were all too shy/naïve. Somewhere afterwards is when i began to realise i had a deep attraction to lesbian women. Back then we didn't have alot of the words and terms we have now.
Anyway... that should be a good start to our conversation . It's quite nauianced and has evolved over the years.Id love to continue the conversation.
I look forward to hearing snd learning more about your project. I was made for this. thanks
Normal is an ever changing point on the bell curve of life. So, normal doesn’t really exist. And, nature loves diversity, even when it comes to sexual desires. Thanks for posting what you post.
I sooo enjoyed this read! Esp the part , “Normal was originally used by carpenters. It is a construction term, not a psychological one.” Such simple evidence but so poignant. Thanks again
I know right! Blew my mind when I realized that. Love me some etymology
This offers a clear and reassuring way to think about desire without turning it into something that needs fixing or defending. The distinction between statistical averages and lived experience feels especially helpful, particularly for people carrying unnecessary shame. Bringing together language, history, and psychology makes the topic feel accessible rather than abstract. It invites curiosity and understanding without pushing anyone to label themselves or arrive at a conclusion too quickly.
Thank you 😊 glad you enjoyed it