My Erotic Journey: From Repressed to Expressed
Why I Created the Psychology of Desire
Cloaked in Grey: My Repressed Desires and Beginnings
Let’s rewind to 2007.
I had just graduated with Honours in Psychophysiology and a Double Degree in Psychology and Sociology.
I was proud.
I was a trailblazer- being the first in my family to achieve higher education… but something was missing.
You see, I didn’t always live inside my erotic truth.
I grew up in a state of Australia where homosexuality was illegal until I was 12 (1997!).
Safe to say, sexual exploration was not celebrated.
I felt unsure of myself.
I had been bullied throughout school as others often sensed I was different.
I was literally living in the grey- I remember not wanting to wear colours because I’d stand out!
I was in a space of wanting to blend in and be undetected.
But I had a feeling there was more out there for me…
Desire Discovery: The Start of My Erotic Journey
I moved to Melbourne-the cultural hub of Australia and for the first time, I experienced spaces where sexuality was celebrated, not silenced.
I hadn’t explored my sexuality much before that.
But I had an inkling it wasn’t going to be vanilla or straight laced.
At the time, I was also losing my connection to the academic world.
I loved research but office life and narrow academic pathways weren’t for me.
Even after being offered a PhD scholarship in Physiology, I knew:
This isn’t my path.
Instead, I became fascinated with those who wandered off the map, maverick researchers such as Oliver Sacks, Carl Jung, Alfred Kinsey and Jane Goodall- who all took an adventurous approach to researching sexuality and psychology.
I decided to make the difficult decision to leave the traditional pathway for the unknown.
Into the Shadows: Exploring Hidden Desires
Inspired by my Sociology degree and the ethnographic research I was reading- where scientists immerse themselves in cultures to gain deep understanding- I decided to explore the shadow side of sexuality through my own immersive experience.
I dove into Jungian psychology through a Diploma in Transpersonal Psychotherapy and emerged with a lifelong love for Sexology.
I spent over 6 years interviewing people in strip clubs, kink communities, and hidden corners of desire all around the world.
I studied Eastern Sexology and Tantra for over 5 years in Thailand and India.
I trained under a Dominatrix who specialises in the history of the art form.
It was the most profound period of my life to date.
I learned more about humanity and the Psychology of Desire than I could ever write down.
However I must try.
Here are three truths that changed my life and my approach to desire.
To desire and be desired is a pivotal human experience.
Most people aren’t sure how to explore their desires.
Understanding your desire is often the key to understanding your eroticism and leadership abilities.
Rebirth of Desire: Embracing My Transformed Erotic Self
My training and learnings led to a new found sense of empowerment in my Sexuality.
Eventually, I returned to Melbourne and faced the stillness of lockdowns in 2020.
I spent time integrating all of my learnings.
My research paused but my clarity didn’t.
I integrated everything I’d learned.
I was now living proudly as a queer, kinky, bisexual woman.
And I began coaching others to explore their own desires.
That’s when I coined the term Viseros, and began building the space I wish I’d had growing up:
A place where people could decode, reclaim, and honour their erotic truth.
Mapping Desire: Why I built Psychology of Desire
My approach to eroticism and the Psychology of Desire has been built on over 20 years of experience.
The path hasn’t always been easy.
But it’s a path that I want to help others walk down.
There is a common saying: you become who you needed when you were younger.
I needed a space where exploration and understanding of desire was celebrated.
And that’s what we are creating here.
About 2 years ago I sat on the floor of my home with a huge blank piece of paper and asked myself a few questions:
How do I synthesise all of my learnings?
What is my unique approach to eroticism?
How can I help others explore their desire with what I know and have experienced?
It’s taken a long time putting all of this together- some might say a lifetime.
What I am creating is truly one of a kind.
I’ve wrestled with a lot of terms to describe my approach to sexuality, for now Erotic Depth Psychology seems to fit the best.
The first of my creations from this newly named space is the Decode My Desires course.
This course isn’t just a container of tools and theory: it’s a map.
Not a linear map, but a symbolic one designed to help you make sense of the patterns that shape your desire.
It brings all of my learnings over thousands of hours of research, study, and embodied experience together in an easy to follow course.
I am in the final stages of creating this course and I’m offering presale now for $97 (50% off).
This is the first wave of enrolment before I release the full version later this year.
If your desire feels like a whisper in the dark… consider this your invitation to finally listen.
Join me on this journey-because understanding your desire isn’t a luxury.
It’s a path to liberation.
It is my hope that this course and what I’m creating here at the Psychology of Desire can be a shining beacon in what can often be the hidden pathways of desire.
At the very least I hope sharing my journey has made you feel less alone in your own explorations of desire.
I know many of you are wondering how to explore your erotic self, and I hope you can find a home for your desires here.
Emma
Founder of Psychology of Desire
Host of The Erotic Realm
Want to dive deeper into your desires with me personally? I offer 1:1 Coaching via application. Find out more here.
p.s Want to explore my other writing?
The Secret Life of Your Desire
Why Your Desires Are More Normal Than You Think.
What If Everything You Know About Men and Women Is Wrong?
The Hidden Key to Lasting Desire: It’s Not What You Think
Are Men and Women Wired Differently For Desire?
And don’t forget my Jung of Sex Series:
p.p.s Want to check out my projects?
1. Support The Erotic Realm Confessional here.
2. Be part of The Deep Desire Project here.
Exciting Announcement! The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.
Kindred spirits! I host a podcast called The Sexy and Sacred Show & write erotic & mystic poetry. Subscribing!
You’ve given me a lot to think about. Bravo for following your path and finding your true vocation.