Meet Your Desired Self

The journey isn't about becoming someone else. It's about becoming more fully you.

Jul 16, 2026

For the past few years, I’ve found myself asking one question that I can’t seem to let go of.

Why do some versions of ourselves feel like coming home rather than becoming someone new?

Throughout my work as a psychology researcher, podcast host, and educator, I’ve spent thousands of hours exploring human desire—why we’re drawn to certain people, fantasies, relationships, and ways of being.

But over time, another question began to emerge.

What if our desires aren’t only telling us something about what we want...

What if they’re also revealing something about who we could become?

We spend our lives admiring certain people.

The confident leader.

The unapologetic artist.

The calm, grounded man.

The woman who walks into a room completely comfortable in her own skin.

We often assume we’re wishing we could be more like them.

But what if those qualities that we admire aren’t random?

What if they’re pointing towards parts of ourselves that have been hidden, suppressed, or simply waiting for permission to emerge?

The reason this work matters so deeply to me is because I didn’t arrive at it through theory alone.

Over the past several years (and arguably decades), I’ve experienced this process myself.

There were qualities I admired in other people that felt strangely out of reach.

As I began exploring different aspects of my identity, something unexpected happened.

Rather than feeling like I was becoming someone new, I gradually realised I was uncovering parts of myself that had always been there.

The recognition didn’t happen first.

It came later.

Only after giving myself permission to experiment, express different aspects of myself, and embody them did I begin to experience a deep recognition.

It was as though I was remembering rather than reinventing who I was.

I had the profound experience of connecting with aspects of myself I hadn’t felt since childhood.

It led to a complete change in how I view myself. I crafted the self that I truly desired and show up in the world entirely differently as a result.

As a psychology researcher, that experience left me with a question I couldn’t ignore:

What if this isn’t unique to me?

And it turns out, it isn’t.

That question has led me into years of reading, research, interviews, observation, and countless conversations, and it’s now becoming the foundation of a new piece of work I’m developing called...

The Desired Self™

The Desired Self™ is built on a simple but powerful idea:

The qualities we repeatedly admire, desire, or feel drawn towards in others often point us towards unrealised parts of ourselves.

Rather than creating an alter ego or reinventing yourself, The Desired Self™ explores a different possibility:

Perhaps the person you’re longing to become isn’t someone new at all.

Perhaps they’re someone you’ve always been.

To celebrate the beginning of this offering, I’m now opening a small number of Founding Sessions as I continue developing this framework.

The Desired Self™ Psychological Consultation

This is a private 90-minute video or audio consultation where we’ll explore:

The qualities and identities you’re repeatedly drawn to.
The patterns that appear across your life, relationships, work, and desires.
The strengths and capacities that may have been hidden or suppressed.
Practical ways to begin expressing and embodying more of who you already are.

By the end of our session, you’ll leave with:

A personalised map of your Desired Self.
Greater clarity about the qualities you’ve been overlooking.
Practical experiments to begin expressing these qualities in everyday life.
A personalised roadmap for your next stage of growth.

This isn’t therapy. It isn’t life coaching. And it isn’t about pretending to be someone else.

It’s a research informed psychological consultation designed to help you explore the possibility that the person you’re striving to become has been quietly waiting beneath fear, conditioning, expectations, or self doubt all along.

As these are founding sessions, I’ll only be working with a small number of people at a discounted rate while I continue researching and refining The Desired Self™ framework. There are only 5 on offer currently.

If something in this email resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you.

Simply reply with:

DESIRED SELF

I’ll send you all the details, answer any questions you have, and we can explore whether this experience is the right fit for you.

I’m incredibly excited about where this research is leading, and I’d love for a small group of you to help shape it from the very beginning.

Looking forward to meeting you!